From Losing it All to Having it All

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It was a month before my largest event I had planned for 300 people. This would be my biggest event ever, see I moved it from Seattle to California, because everyone said, if you move it down there more people will come. I had asked my husband to quit his job so that I could spend a whole month traveling through California on a speaking tour in order to enroll these 300 people to come to the Transformational speaker summit in Palm Springs California October 2019. I ended up only selling 200 tickets, and had to tell the speakers ahead of time, which was terrifying. I felt like I Let them down, and they would want their money back.

My flight was canceled the day before the event so I had to arrive four hours before the big event. As I walked into the room imagining my event planner having everything set up and ready to go I was Shocked to arrive and find her scrolling on her phone in the back of the room with nothing but chairs set up. I trusted her explicitly, I mean she checked all the boxes when I hred her, she was highly recommended by a powerful colleague, she had put on the California Women’s conference, and was even a part of putting together Live Aid in the 80’S,  she has to know what to do.   I hired a fraud, come to find out later. I called everyone who I knew would come and help set up the room and we got to work, I had thirty Minutes before I had to be stage ready as I walked out of that room and headed back to my hotel room.

I put my make up on I started working on curling my hair and then there was a knock at the door. I thought to myself no one knows what room I’m in who could be at my door? As I open the door in my robe the official man with the official clipboard said are you Erin Loman Jeck I replied of course how can I help you? He said what credit card are you putting this $15,000 balance on? I had no idea what this was for, he showed me my signature on a form and all I could feel was that lump in my throat, and my lip began to quiver. I asked him if he could wait till the end of the weekend when I had sold into my coaching programs as all of my credit was leveraged for this event. All my credit cards are maxed and all I could think was when I sell I’ll be able to pay this.

He looked at me and said ma’am I have to talk to hotel management but I don’t think we can do that, He told me that if I didn’t have the $15,000 they would lock the Ballroom doors and not let anyone in. From there I could see people standing outside those doors across the hotel waiting to get in, and I thought what am I going to do, as he left my heart sank as I sank to the floor this was supposed to be the answer this event was the thing that was supposed to catapult my business, my coaching programs, the answer to all prayers

and I felt like I just failed my family. I just bankrupted my company and my soul. All the makeup ran down my face as I cried.  What am I supposed to do?  I have failed myself, the speakers, and now my family? Was this going to bankrupt my company, one event? What do you want from me?

 

That weekend got the more difficult, After I picked myself up that floor painted my entire body with body makeup so no one could see the hives on my body from the stress. I took the stage to serve, but every time I would watch staff walk by those doors my heart would stop I would think at any moment police could walk in, wave me off stage, and arrest me. Speakers were mad at me as I sold 200 tickets and there were only 157 people in the room the largest no show I had evet seen, they were angry because they each paid me a lot of money to speak on my stage.  When I went into my sales pitch I could feel the desperation, and I felt like everyone else did too. One speaker stormed out after her talk, threw her name badge on the floor, and sent me the most scaling email, demanding her money back, I really don’t know how I got through those days or the next month, but I knew I would do whatever it took to follow my dreams. 

 

This is why I’m so passionate about helping speakers and coaches find their message and to do whatever it takes to follow their dreams. So many coaches and speakers fail to close more of the rooms they’re in and struggle to sell into their coaching programs and I’m here to show you That you can, you can do whatever it takes, you can serve the world with your gifts and be compensated for your message to the world.  Today I will share with you the 3 keys I learned to following your dreams and having it all. Aligned vision,  integrity, and surrender. Erin Loman Jeck is the CEO of Transformational Speakers Agency,  Executive Speaking coach and Tedx coach.  6-7 figure speakers hire her to help them learn to close 30% or more of the rooms they are speaking, because  most don’t know how to sell and fill their coaching programs.  She helps you find your souls voice and get divinely compensated for your gifts.  

 

 

Did you know that according to the ICF international coaching Federation:  81% of coaches fail in business with in their first two years.  Because most get in it for coaching and changing the world, however forget that it’s a marketing and sales business first. Maybe coaching is your dream job, and you are struggling to get clients, but are you willing to do whatever it takes in order to change the world? My motto is “you can’t be a lighthouse to the world, if you cant keep your own lights on.” 

First you must have vision and alignment with your goals and dreams.

My first dream job I had wanted since I was in the third grade, I aspired to be a dolphin trainer. Simon Sinek says in his book Start With Why studies show that 80% of Americans don’t have their dream job.  I was committed to doing whatever it takes in order to become a dolphin trainer. So I started in high school doing independent study on Marine Biology, went to college for marine biology and during my junior year of my undergrad, I was invited to my best friends wedding in Florida I was excited, this might be my chance to swim with dolphins.

After the wedding I drove down to the Florida Keys and ended up at the Dolphin Research Center in front of the largest dolphin statue on Highway one. I thought this was my time, I walked around inside asked a lot of questions, swam with the dolphins and was hooked,  before I left I asked for an application. I would spend the next day down in Key West Only return,  after hours at the Dolphin Research Center. I tried to slip my application under the door to the side of the door there was no mailbox, so I walked to the side of the building and saw a big fence so I sent up a Hail Mary prayer set an intention and threw it over the fence. My alignment was so clear or what I wanted!

I meditated and visualized every single day about being a dolphin trainer. Three months later I got a call saying we want to  grant you an internship. It was unpaid.  I was so excited to start my dream job , I didn’t care about anything else. I packed up all of my clothes and garbage bags threw it in the back of my tiny Hyundai Elantra with no air-conditioning, and drove cross count, to the Florida Keys not knowing where I would live, not knowing how I would live, and knowing that I needed a job. I ended up sleeping in house with 6  other people,  my room had a bathroom, so I could never lock my door, people would need to come and shower and get ready in my bathroom, so I never had privacy or sleep.

 I had to work as a waitress at night just to be able to afford my rent and thank God I would get one meal a day from the restaurant.  You see I would eat cup of ramen,  I would eat half for breakfast, and have for lunch.

It was the most difficult 6 months of my life, I worked in the bar at this restaurant,  it was a retirement community, so many of our costumers were older men,  I reeked of smoke, I was fondled nightly, my confidence was shot, I was drinking every night to numb the pain, I was going home with men to fill the void, I was feeling awful and dream life that was so far from the truth. I had to pretend like it was all ok, since I moved half way around the globe to do this,  I couldn’t let anyone see what was really going on.

Don’t get me wrong daily I was so happy with the dolphins, but I felt like this whole dream was just a façade. I had to get in alignment with my vision.

While I was there they told me I didn’t need a marine biology degree I needed a psych degree or a teaching degree, that was exciting because I always thought about changing the world and having a Psych degree understanding people that was how I can change the world. I also in the back of my mind knew that I needed a back up plan to dolphin training. I had to have vision, vision that would pull me through the mucky times, the vision that would totally align with what I really wanted.  I returned home to Idaho and shifted my major, and graduated with my undergrad in psychology. I had a new alignment and vision to change the world.

 

After my husband and I got married, he was deployed over seas, I was left all alone to raise our son, this is when I decided to enroll in my masters in marriage and family therapy and started studying while he was gone. That is when I stepped into my second dream job of being a therapist. Totally unaware aware of how hard it would be.

Forbes is quoted that 78% of therapist burn out and quit their practice and 16% show a high levels of major depression disorder.

I had no idea what I was getting into.  During my clinicals I realize I was such an empath so many people would come into my office tell me the deepest darkest stuff and leave it in the room, they feel better but I wanted to die. I saw people come in and complain every week and as we would come up with new things for them to do in order to change, they would return the next week complaining again and not doing the thing that we talked about doing.

 Plus in school I was being told that we should just keep taking their money and did not care about the results they were getting they said to me the longer they come the more money you make in the more stable your business will be. During my masters my study buddy would be one of those statistics she was under so much pressure and so unhappy That she became one of those statistics when she ended her life. It was then that I decided to follow my integrity and to get back in alignment,  and dropped out 12 credits shy of my masters in marriage and family therapy.

I also started to do that math,  $100 an hour, 8 clients a day, wasn’t enough money for the antidepressants, and booze I would need in order to “fix” how I was feeling on a daily basis.

Everyone thought I was crazy I have $50,000 student loans to pay for nothing my family would say, you’re not a quitter Erin why are you quitting. What are you gonna do with your life now? I was certain that I would do whatever it took to follow my heart, my intuition, and my integrity.

Integrity is what you do when know one is watching. Integrity in the Dictionary states it is the state of being whole and undivided.  I was undivided in the dream of making an impact in the world, I thought that was what being a therapist would bring me, but all it brought me was feeling empty, alone, broken, and depressed.  I needed to find something that brought making a difference and feeding my soul back in alignment.

After some soul-searching I realize that I’ve been a coach in sports since I was 14, that word inspired me, I realize people hire coaches of all types of results, so I hung my shingle as a coach and launched my business. I have dedicated my life to helping people get results, in their business and with changing the world on their terms, with the message that their soul has to share on this planet, during this precious life.

 

Steve Harvey says your career  is what you get paid for but you’re calling is what you’re made for.

I didn't know really what I was made for until this training. I've been living in my aligned vision and working with integrity but I never understood how to surrender. In these past two  past weeks I have experienced so much chaos, pressure, and the ability to just let go. Having two uncles find out they have weeks to live, to experience the worst case scenario, you see I never wrote down on that sheet of paper that the worst case scenario would be someone came in and told me my mom had died but here I was in it. they say it happens in threes I thought we'd hit that threshold, until my step brother Facebook messaged me from Australia.

Most of you don't even know That this week my older stepbrother was in a massive car accident with his wife their four year old in California. Apparently the wreck was really bad his wife was bruised up and his four year old had a concussion, but the big strong brother they knew was pinned in the car for hours and they had to cut him out with the jaws of life but it didn't stop there they couldn't save his arm. This is my brother who was a collegiate athlete at Harvard. He is so strong and I don’t know if he is strong enough for this. I didn't know if I was strong enough for this.

These last two weeks have made me realize it sometimes you have to surrender, not quit! Surrender!  man did I want to quit this week how many of you are on here wanted to quit?

It would have been so much easier to do what I always do, fly home and save the day, a little voice in my head said no one would blame you this would be a great out. But I decided that I was willing to let go of everything I know as a speaking coach in order to grow, was willing to let go of my ego, was willing to let go of always having to save the day, to be the rock for everyone else, and hold my family capable of handling the situation. That has been my MO my whole life I was proud of that S on my chest. But this time this time had to be different I had to save myself. I had to be willing to do whatever it took to stay, to see what I'm capable of.

 I know many of you thought I failed that test when I walked out after an hour and a half, it was in that moment I realized that I do have everything I need inside of me and it doesn't matter what any of you thought I did it anyway. I surrendered to the experience, I surrendered to the feelings of not knowing if I knew enough, and I surrendered to my ucm as my pen didn’t t stop writing the answers, there was no time to second guess myself.  I am done second guessing myself!

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

― Eckhart Tolle

I really have had to lose it all in order to have it all. You have to be willing to say yes to yourself and a whole boundaries and say no to others. No is a complete sentence. Saying no to others mean saying yes a full body yes to yourself. You have to be willing to say yes to your souls purpose , to the voice of your soul.

There are no accidents that we are all in the room today, maybe even you are here following your souls purpose, your intuition, to make a massive difference in the world. I am forever grateful for all of you!

So I want to invite you to a three day retreat in Coeur d’Alene Idaho Oct 17-19th where we will dig deep into what your souls purpose is, what your soulful message is for the world, and how to monetize your message. Because we all have a message, and if you’re listening to this and say it but I don’t have anything to say I challenge you to enroll and surrender because we will find your message together. The retreat investment is $4000, food and lodging is covered so all you have to do is make your way to Coeur d’Alene Idaho. Where we will spend three days getting your message  Out of you and into the world and setting up your sales funnel so that you can be defined the compensated for your gifts. As a bonus the first 5 that enroll, will get access to the Transformational speakers community where you’ll have access to seven of my online courses including how a land a Ted talk, How never lose your voice, The Transformational Speakers Academy, and how to host epic events.

 

When I returned home from Palm Springs I was $65,000 in debt I had to dig deep and figure out how I would do whatever it took in order to save my business. I sat down in my office, called every attendee, and really asked what they needed, two months later I had doubled my return on that event, I changed so many lives, and people still talk about how that event was one of the most transformational events for them. I know it was really for my deep transformation. I had to have alignment in my vision, and the integrity to do what was right and had to surrender to what the universe wanted from me.  I learn a lot about myself and got crystal clear on how I want to serve the world

When we get out of our own way and realize that it’s not about us it’s about the transformation we can provide for others and we really step into servitude to others, sales is just service, and I know you’re ready to do whatever it takes to find your calling and I get to finally get divinely compensated for your gifts.

A beautiful and powerful woman once said to me “ Sometimes you have to lose it all, lose yourself, lose your mind in order to find the voice of your soul!”  Book time with me, if you want to discover the powerful voice of your soul. https://calendly.com/erinlomanjeck/1-1-coaching-call

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